Heels Over Head
by TwistingTwilight
Summary: Can't you see I've always loved you? Someday when you find your place in this world, maybe you'll finally see, and you'll turn it all around, and come running back to me. Drabble fic, short and sweet. Multiple updates daily. ExB. AH. M for a reason.
1. Chapter 1

**Very short author's note, the only one until we reach the end!**

**During the times when I'm writing for my actual stories, I sometimes need to just unwind and relax, so I've taken refuge in this short drabble fic. I'm not really sure how long it will go on for, and I do have a storyline, it just depends how long it takes us to get there!**

**It shouldn't take TOO long though, because I'll be updating multiple times everyday!**

**Enjoy! And reviews are loved!**

* * *

><p>My eyes were trained on my window as I stared out at the rain.<p>

I wondered what she was doing right now.

It was silly really. It was pointless to think about her.

It had been _six years._

Couldn't I move on with my life?

Some people say your first love is true love.

Part of me still wishes it were true.

I had her runaway smile tucked in my piggybank, and I wished I could trade it in for a happy life.

Instead of pinning after the girl I'd lost, and was stuck with the ghost of what we used to be.


	2. Chapter 2

Making my way to work, I glanced up at the New York sky as it loomed over me.

I wondered what sky she was looking into.

Night or day?

Was she even in the same country anymore?

My mind constantly flashes back to the day I met her, I don't mean for it to, I honestly try my best to forget her, but neither my head or my heart will let me.

Brown hair with a tint of red, hazel eyes with a hint of mischief, bright teeth with a lovely smile, heavenly voice with hidden promises, and an open heart that would steal mine.

I pushed open the door to the office block, heading straight to the elevator and hitting the button for the 15th floor.

Time to read endless manuscripts, and try not to think of my own hopeless story.


	3. Chapter 3

There comes a moment in life when you realise you've found exactly what you've been looking for.

Mine occurred when I was just seventeen years old.

She was new in town, moved to live with her father Charlie after being in Phoenix her own life.

Forks was her own personal hell. I could tell by the look on her face when she walked into Forks High on her first day, frowning at the rain and shivering within her coat.

I instantly wanted to take care of her.

Every boy wanted her, every boy stared after her, every boy tried to get her attention.

But as if we were two raindrops on a window, we travelled towards each other.

I always used the comparison when I was with her, and trying to describe exactly how I felt about her.

We caught, and held, each other's attention from her first hour in school. By lunch time we were friends. By home time I was in love with her.

There comes a moment in life when you realise you've lost exactly what you always looked for.

Mine occurred when I was just eighteen years old.


	4. Chapter 4

My head was filled with countless words and sentences as I read over a few first chapters of new manuscripts that came through the publishing house I worked at.

I hated being one of the Senior Editors.

I'd probably enjoy my job much more if I actually had a happy ending of my own. All these stories where the boy and the girl fall in love, loose each other and then find each other again... Pointless.

Life doesn't fucking work like that.

I'd worked my ass off to get here though, and in the back of my mind I hoped she was proud.

She always knew this was what I wanted to do, and I knew exactly what she wished to do with her life.

I just had no idea if she ever fulfilled it.

I grabbed another manuscript as I took a quick drink of coffee.

The manuscript was untitled, and the author's name was withheld. They often did that so they didn't have to face embarrassment if we cut their story from our publishing rights.

I flicked open the first page with a sigh, but my breath stuck in my throat.

_Like two raindrops on a window, we travelled toward each other._

It was her.

It had to be.

My Bella.


	5. Chapter 5

_My hand slid up her thigh, inching higher and higher under her short red dress as I kissed her senseless. _

_I couldn't get enough of this girl._

_She was every part of me, every thought in my head and every action my body made._

_Tonight Charlie was on night shift, and we'd cooked dinner with each other in her tiny little kitchen, before we sat at her dining table, where I'd placed candles and Rose petals when she wasn't looking. We stared at each other across the table with matching smiles, matching nervousness and matching excitement._

_It may have been a perfect date, but we both knew what tonight was._

_We were ready._

_We were giving ourselves to each other tonight, and even though it was both our first time, we already knew we'd have no regrets._

_I'd made the night as perfect as possible for her. I got candles, Roses, her favourite music, her favourite food. The house was quiet as we ate, only our voices filtering through the air._

_But now all I could hear was her heavy breathing as she tugged on my hair and whispered my name._

_My fingers found the lingerie underneath her dress, and I looked up at her with questioning eyes, before smiling as she nodded at me._

_We removed each other's clothing slowly, placing gentle kisses along each and every part of each other as we memorised the other's body. She was perfect, flawless, and I knew for as long as I lived that I wouldn't ever want anyone else in my bed at night._

_Only her._

_I settled myself between her legs, placing a kiss on her brow before capturing her lips with mine, "Are you sure baby?"_

_She smiled against me, "Of course I'm sure. Are you?"_

"_I've been sure since the moment I met you."_

_I ran my fingers through her hair with one hand as my other lowered to her waist. I tilted her gently towards me, and slid inside her slowly, unable to hide my moan at her warmth and tightness. _

_We both groaned at the contact, and I stilled my movement as I looked down at her, "Bella? Are you okay?"_

_She had her eyes closed, and I was beginning to worry when she didn't answer me straight away. _

_But after a moment's hesitation she smiled and moved her hips towards mine, letting me sink deeper inside her._

"_I'm perfect." She'd whispered._

Even now I could still hear her words from that night. Not simply her moans, not only her begs for me to move deeper and harder, not just her cries as I hit _that _spot and she came undone at the same moment I reached my own release.

I mean the words that would brand me forever.

"_I love you Edward."_

"_I love you too Bella."_

"_Forever?"_

"_Always. Never leave me baby."_

"_I'll never leave you Edward. I promise."_

"Edward? Edward!" My head snapped up as I stared at my boss, blinking a few times.

"Yeah?"

"You've been sat here for hours, don't you think you need a break?"

I nodded, coughing slightly as I pushed myself further towards the table, needing to adjust myself badly.

"I will soon. I'm just finishing this first chapter."

"Think you've got something good?" He queried, already backing away from my office.

I nodded after him, "Something beautiful." I sighed as I read the only three sentences of the Prologue again.

_Like two raindrops on a window, we travelled toward each other._

_But sometimes, it just stops raining._

_I don't believe that._


	6. Chapter 6

Staring no further than the Prologue, my mind already fought with itself about what I'd do next.

I ran my hand over the mouse of my computer, watching the screen buzz to life from the corner of my eye as I gazed down at the manuscript.

My stomach rumbled, and I knew I'd have to leave for lunch soon, but I felt like this thick booklet of paper was a part of the girl I'd lost, and I didn't want it to go anywhere.

I wanted to read what she'd said. I wanted to know if the story she'd written was the story of us.

But I didn't even know if it was her.

Only one way to find out.

I flicked to the back of the manuscript, glancing at the last page for any contact information.

Of course, there was no name, no address, no nothing.

Nothing except an email address.

Quickly popping open a new email screen, I wrote out a quick message and hit send before my mind could tell me not to, thanking God that I was simply the fifth Senior Editor at the Masen Publishing House, and I wasn't Edward Cullen.

Not until I needed to be anyway.

**From: MasenPublishing05**

**To: Bookworm17**

_Hi there, I'm the Senior Editor looking over your manuscript._

_I must ask, how long did it take you write this?_

_Sincerely, Senior Editor 5, Masen Publishing House._


	7. Chapter 7

I returned from lunch quicker than I'd left.

I held my empty sandwich wrapper in one hand before stuffing it into the bin, taking a drink from the coffee in my other.

Normally I'd walk to Central Park and have lunch there, but today I couldn't wait.

I was convinced my Blackberry was broken, and I wasn't receiving my emails to my phone like normal.

So I had to go back to the office and check my computer.

I knew it was a vain hope, but I sat down in my chair quickly anyway, anticipation running around in my stomach.

Just as I hit the button to make my computer come back to life, my phone bleeped from my pocket.

Unable to wait those few seconds longer I grabbed my phone and opened the email.

**From: Bookworm17**

**To: MasenPublishing05**

_Hello._

_I've been writing my story since I was seventeen._

_Nice to meet you by the way, I hope you enjoy the story._

I closed my eyes, resting my forehead against the cool wood of my table, already hearing her voice in my ear as she told me with discretion that she was already working on a novel. At seventeen.

I sighed.

"Bella..."


	8. Chapter 8

**From: MasenPublishing05**

**To: Bookworm17**

_Nice to meet you too. I'm aware you haven't given over any personal details, and I'm not asking you to now. But your manuscript has been passed to me for inspection and recall, and I often like to contact the author whenever I have a question or simply something interesting to say about the work._

_You don't mind if I email you do you?_

The email was a complete lie.

Well apart from the last sentence, because I _really _wanted her to let me email her.

My mind was running away with the possibilities of what I could learn about her, what I could discover about her life that over the last six years had become an absolute mystery to me.

So I hit send, and waiting impatiently for her reply.


	9. Chapter 9

**From: Bookworm17**

**To: MasenPublishing05**

_I don't mind at all if you email me. I'm glad someone shares a passion for writing as much as I do. Though that book is the only one I've written._

_To be completely honest it's the only one I CAN write._

I stared at the computer screen.

Think of something smart to say, and _quickly._

She'd emailed me back within minutes, and I didn't want her to lose interest and walk away. I wanted to keep her glued to her computer or her phone.

I wanted to keep her glued to me.

I opened a new email.

**From: MasenPublishing05**

**To: Bookworm17**

_To be honest I haven't had the chance to read past the Prologue, but as you can probably tell I'm entranced by it already. How come you haven't written anything else?_

_And may I ask if you've given this manuscript to any other publishing houses?_

One minute.

Two minutes.

Three minutes.

**From: Bookworm17**

**To: MasenPublishing05**

_The Prologue is my favourite part of the book. It means an awful lot to me, and I suppose the answer to your question, you've just read. I've never felt enough drive to write anything else._

_And no, I've only sent it to you._

One second.

Two seconds.

Three seconds.

**From: MasenPublishing05**

**To: Bookworm17**

_Normally authors prefer the end of their book, rather than the beginning. It's rather odd to find someone so different. If the book means so much to you, should I assume it's slightly autobiographical?_

_And good. I'm glad._

I took a breath as I sent the email. I was pushing it, I knew I was.

But I couldn't stop myself.

This book meant a lot to her.

My words meant a lot to her.

_Two raindrops baby. Two raindrops._

I ached to be able to say those words to her again.

My computer bleeped not even a minute later and I clicked the email desperately.

**From: Bookworm17**

**To: MasenPublishing05**

_The book is basically my life so far. Of course, it's told from my point of view, and I never thought my life was so eventful, but it actually felt good to write everything down on paper. It felt like I could vent properly._

_And no, I can't prefer the end of my book. It isn't finished yet. Well hopefully not._

I stared, and then I stared some more.

No Bella. It's not finished yet. But I'll finish it with you.

I'll be your ending.


	10. Chapter 10

How stupid was I?

Could I really think of nothing better to say than "You should really try to finish it?"

Yeah. Turns out I couldn't.

I sighed, frowning to myself as I realised she'd probably not reply.

Not focusing on the emails for a second, the impact of everything hit me up the face, and I was left breathless in my office as I realised the girl of my dreams, the only girl I'd ever loved, had now come back into my life through a book that she'd written about us.

My fingers itched to turn the pages. I wanted desperately to know how she felt about everything.

Did she miss me?

Did she still love me?

And _why. _

_Why did she leave me?_

As if on cue, my computer and phone bleeped simultaneously.

**From: Bookworm17**

**To: MasenPublishing05**

_You should read what I've written. It's sometimes hard for people to understand how I can't finish the book. To them it's just a story, while to me, it's everything, you know?_

_I've only been in love once, and that novel bares my soul to that love. Not a lot of people can understand that love either; I guessed that's why I love the love itself so much._

_That such a riddle, but then again, everything is since the day I lost him._

I swallowed down hopeless tears.


	11. Chapter 11

I turned the page, holding my breath as I began the first chapter.

_I can still remember the first day I met him. I can still remember his smile as he caught my eye._

I stopped reading.

No, I couldn't do it. I couldn't.

I _had _to.

I turned quickly to my email.

**From: MasenPublishing05**

**To: Bookworm17**

_I'm guessing you're not with this guy anymore? What happened?_

I'd only turned back to the book when my computer pinged back to life with her reply.

**From: Bookworm17**

**To: MasenPublishing05**

_I'd say you should read it? If I tell you, it's just going to ruin the whole story._

I laughed a little. This was definitely Bella. She was far too stubborn.

I typed a quickly reply;

**From: MasenPublishing05**

**To: Bookworm17**

_Sorry, I'm very impatient. I'll keep reading._

So I turned my attention back to the manuscript in front of me, and did exactly that.


	12. Chapter 12

_Words cannot describe how much I loved him, how much I still love him. He was everything to me, he is everything to me. But it seems like now I have to focus on the past, because I lost him for good and I can never get him back, to be honest I don't know where to start. _

_It's the type of love that is so strong, and so overwhelming, that you can't help but want to smother yourself in it, and live there forever until you die. And even in death you'll still have each other._

_But I ruined it. I ruined everything._

_And now I have nothing._

"Cullen!" My head snapped up, staring into the face of my boss as my eyes adjusted to the darkness.

"Huh?" I mumbled.

"You've been sitting here for hours Edward. It's 11pm."

I sighed, shaking my head slightly and running my fingers through my hair.

"Is that all you wanted? I'm just getting to the interesting bit." I sighed, my voice more harsh than I'd intended as I flicked on the office light.

"Well… Don't stay too long." He took me in, "Okay?"

I nodded, just wanting him to leave so I could keep reading, "Okay."

I watched him walk away, before turning to the next chapter.


	13. Chapter 13

I'd been reading for ten hours… And finally, I understood…

Tears dripped onto my cheeks as I read the last page, shaking my head at my stupidity, at _her _stupidity.

"Silly girl." I muttered, reaching to wipe my eyes, "How could you be so fucking _stupid?" _I roared, pushing my chair back from the desk and standing up.

I grabbed the manuscript and paced the room, reading the last page over and over as everything processed in my head.

_He had a dream, a dream so big I didn't know if it included me._

_All I could do was hope, but I didn't want to tag along and never let go of him, if what he wanted was to move on from me._

_So I stopped that problem. I left him._

_If we went to different colleges, he'd find someone else, someone better than me who he'd love more than the dwindle he ever felt between us._

_If we went to the same college, the same thing would happen, only I'd have to stop and watch while he lived his life with another girl._

_It was the biggest mistake of my life. _

_I should never have left him. _

_Everyday I feel like turning back the clock and changing my mind, because our love is simply something I can't live without._

_So, if I could say one thing to him right now… I know exactly what it would be…_

_I'm sorry, and I love you._

I shut my eyes as I crushed the manuscript to my chest, "I love you too Bella."


	14. Chapter 14

**From: MasenPublishing05**

**To: Bookworm17**

_Can I tell you that you are incredibly stupid?_

**From: Bookworm17**

**To: MasenPublishing05**

_Well, I tell myself the same thing everyday… So go right ahead._

**From: MasenPublishing05**

**To: Bookworm17**

_You're really stupid._

**From: Bookworm17**

**To: MasenPublishing05**

_Thanks… I'm guessing you finished it then?_

**From: MasenPublishing05**

**To: Bookworm17**

_Ten hours. I'm quite proud of that. I couldn't stop reading once I started._

_Seriously though, you let him go because you were afraid he'd find someone else? That is incredibly silly._

**From: Bookworm17**

**To: MasenPublishing05**

_It was either break my own heart, or let him break mine._

**From: MasenPublishing05**

**To: Bookworm17**

_He wouldn't have broken your heart. You can tell by your book how in love you both were… Or are._

**From: Bookworm17**

**To: MasenPublishing05**

_I doubt he'd have any love for me now after what I did to him._

**From: MasenPublishing05**

**To: Bookworm17**

_You never know._

_Listen, I think we should meet up and discuss your book? How does Central Park for lunch sound? Say around, one? We can meet at the second bench to the East of the pond?_

**From: Bookworm17**

**To: MasenPublishing05**

_Sounds good. _


	15. Chapter 15

I slept in my office chair until half twelve, and when the alarm on my phone sounded I jumped up, grabbing it to check for any new emails.

Really I was checking to see if she'd cancelled.

But of course she wouldn't. This was her big break, she was getting her book published.

She was getting her dream.

I walked to the bathroom, splashing my face with cool water and fixing my suit.

I looked like the old me, the seventeen year old boy with fire in his eyes because he knew he would get to see his girl.

Only now I was dressed in a suit, with a career and a life to live. Except I wanted to live it with her.

I mentally prepared myself before I headed to Central Park, and even the whole way there I tried to imagine what I'd say to her, what I'd do, what I'd _feel._

I took a seat on the second bench, suddenly afraid encase she took one look at me and ran away.

Would she do that?

I hoped with every fibre of my being that she wouldn't.

I checked my phone every five minutes until it hit one o'clock.

Then I checked it every one minute until it reached one fifteen.

She wasn't coming.

I'd sat here every lunch time for the past three years, and I thought that today I'd be able to share it with her.

But obviously that wasn't going to happen.

I rubbed my eyes as I stood up, heading back towards my office as I shook my head at my own naivety.

My phoned pinged in my hand before I'd even walked a foot away from the bench, and my head snapped down to read the email.

**From: Bookworm17**

**To: MasenPublishing05**

_You've sat here every lunch time for three years Edward, you never normally leave until at least half one…_

I stared at the email, my head a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions as I tried to make sense of everything.

**From: Bookworm17**

**To: MasenPublishing05**

_You've been looking Edward. But you never looked far enough._

_I've been sitting on the other side of this pond for three years, trying to work up the courage to come to you. The only way I could think of was to send you my book._

Tears trickled down my face as I stared at the screen.

She knew?

**From: Bookworm17**

**To: MasenPublishing05**

_Turn around Edward._

I've no idea how my legs moved, but somehow they did.

And there, standing at the other end of my bench, was my true love.

Long brown hair fell below her shoulders, and dark brown eyes stared back at me, as a gentle but hesitant smile lingered on her lips.

_She knew all along._


	16. Chapter 16

I stared at her face as my heart battered my rib cage.

It was her.

It was really her.

I let out a shaky breath, and as I did she frowned a little before opening her mouth to speak.

"Edward…"

It was the first time I'd heard her voice in six years, and my body warmed to the sound, as if I'd never truly felt any form of heat these past years without her.

My mouth fell open, but no words came out.

Suddenly, she was crying.

A tear fell from her left eye, "I'm so sorry…" She shook her head as she dropped her eyes from mine.

My teeth gritted, and I stared at her as I found my voice, "Don't you dare."


	17. Chapter 17

Her eyes squeezed shut tighter at my words, and I swallowed quickly to speak again, my voice breaking, "Don't you dare look away from me."

Her eyes rose again, and we stared back at each other for a long moment.

"It's really you?" I whispered, feeling a tear drip onto my cheek as she nodded her head.

"It's me." Her voice was like honey, dripping over every surface and making it all sweet again.

"I don't want you to ever look away from me again. Do you hear me?" I took a step closer, mustering up my courage.

"I don't… I don't understand…" She shook her head a little, "You forgive me?"

I laughed a little, "Bella." A grin formed on my face as she smiled at the sound of her name, "There was nothing to forgive."

I took another step towards her, and suddenly I was crossing the little distance from the other end of the bench, reaching out and pulling her fragile body against mine as I buried my face in her hair and cried the tears I'd been holding for six years.

She clung to me, her body shaking as we embraced and took in every little thing about each other.

Nothing had changed.

She was still the same. My Bella.

"I'm so sorry Edward." She cried, "I'm so fucking sorry."

"Ssssh." I crooned, "I'm just happy to have you again."

"I was always yours Edward, I was just… Afraid."

"Afraid of silly things." I said more sternly, "You truly think I'd ever find someone I'd love more than I love you?"

She grabbed hold of my jacket a little tighter, "I'm sorry. I was stupid Edward… You were too good to be true."

"We love each other Bella. We're meant for each other. Never ever doubt that again." I spoke quietly, leaning back to gaze at her face, "I love you."

She smiled despite her tears, "I love you too…" She shut her eyes for only a second, "Kiss me Edward… Please?"


	18. Chapter 18

We sat on the bench, and I held her hands in mine, tracing the contours I'd never forgotten, and rubbing a gentle circle on the exact spot I knew that relaxed her.

"After my degree, I moved to New York." She explained, "I was miserable throughout college. I constantly wanted you. No-one ever lived up to you…" She sighed, "I knew I had to make things right… So when I moved back I looked you up. I discovered you'd gotten a job at Masen Publishers… Words can't describe how proud I was of you Edward." She smiled up at me, and I moved a piece of stray hair away from her face, "You were only a Junior back then… Three years later you were a Senior Editor…" She frowned suddenly, "Edward I tried… I tried to make it right honestly. Sometimes I thought if I just bumped into you in Starbucks, or walked past you at lunch time… But I could never bring myself to do it… Not until now."

I leaned down and put my forehead against hers, "I understand now… Truly Bella I do… But none of it matters… We will never speak of it again, apart from reminiscing about our story when we tell our children, and our grandchildren…" I grinned, leaning closer and placing a gentle kiss on her cheek.

She smiled, but then sighed as she whispered, "Why won't you kiss me yet?"

"Not until I have you alone, because I'm afraid if I kiss you, I won't ever stop."

She giggled in spite of herself, and moved closer to me, "So… What does this mean now? For us?"

"Well personally, I want it to mean that you and I can be together like we should've been all along, and we can live happily, with wedding rings on our fingers and children around us."

She shut her eyes as I spoke, "Sounds perfect to me."


	19. Chapter 19

_And that's just how the story goes I suppose. _

_Sometimes in life you find the one you're meant for. Sometimes you lose each other, sometimes for good, sometimes for a short amount of time._

_But what is meant for you, never goes by you._

_I learnt the hard way, but now I've got something so precious and perfect I'll never let it go._

_Edward is the man I love, the only man I have ever loved, and I was blessed for him to love me back._

_We got married a year later, right by that bench and that lake in Central Park. _

_I'm pregnant now, expecting our first baby that I'm sure is a boy, but Edward believes is a girl._

_Who knows, maybe you'll find out in the next book._

_But for now, that's all._

_Like two raindrops on a window, we travelled towards each other._

_We met in the centre, we joined, and we'll never ever be apart again._

_Not even close to 'the end'._


End file.
